I saw a meme the other day which said "You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to" and it really struck a chord with me. This was a new concept and I had never thought about it that way before. I have always felt compelled to respond, react and meet people where they are - like it is some type of unevolved and instinctual defence mechanism. However, I have never been very good with conflict, I avoid it like the plague. So this idea, that I actually don't even need to attend arguments at all, sounds amazing to me. It gives me the choice and not a default response - with a predictable ending. Me having anxiety.
Change and taxes, they say, are the only two constants of life. We all embrace and resist different changes that come up in our lives depending on our individual fears. Some people love to travel, some don't. Some like to participate in high-risk sports some don't. Our attitudes toward fear don't make us any better or worse than the next person they are merely a sum total of our life experiences and conditioning.I remember a time when I thought the only way to live was by having a 9-5 office job where I knew what the salary would be each week, could climb some type of corporate ladder and plan out every day, week, month even year of my life accordingly. At the time I felt an element of safety in that, even though the daily grind was just that
Spending time alone is nourishment for your soul. Taking time to sit back, think and reflect on your experiences is crucial in getting to know your own mind and coping with the compounding feelings that life serves us every day. I find consistent outside influence so detrimental to my inner peace, and mental health, that it causes me real discomfort at times. Once I start to notice that I feel crowded and need space I can feel myself growing resistance to anyone and anything I feel restricted by. When it gets to this point spending time alone is no longer desired, it is required.
It's easy to let ego get in the way sometimes.It's easy to let "right and wrong" get in the way sometimes.It's easy to allow your emotions to sit squarely in the drivers seat sometimes. What isn't easy to do is to build great friendships with people you choose to love and care about. Like romantic relationships, friendships require energy, love and consistency in order to flourish. Friends are also mere humans, like us, who make mistakes, get busy and sometimes they need space too. Sometimes your friends could use a little care, grace, understanding and kindness from you. Great friends are one of life's spectacular gifts.Take special care of them.